08 February 2014

swallowing my pride and finding some balance

Miss Ivah had her four month check up last week and a little look at her growth chart brought me back to reality. My babies have always fallen somewhere in the middle, but she was very, very low on the charts. The doctor seemed a little concerned and suggested I start feeding her solids. I looked at where she was at her last check up and saw a definite shift. Ridden with mama guilt, I cried tears over not providing enough for my girl and wondered where I'd gone wrong. Now, of course I realize there are little babies out there and you have to cut yourself some slack and none of this is the end of the world in the big scheme of things. But I knew that, in this case, it had everything to do with my focus on losing the baby weight. I was so proud of those nine pounds I'd dropped in a month, and hadn't really considered how it was impacting my baby. I'd said she was my top priority, but I was still counting calories and being a little too regimented about everything I ate and drank. 

The next day I decided it wasn't worth it. She's four months old, and I am her sole source of nutrition. That's what matters. My husband was excited, to say the least, that treats were back on the grocery list. One week later, she'd gained a pound. Which, hello, is like 8% of her body weight. That right there showed me that now is not the time to focus on my goals, despite the fact that I desperately want to fit into some smaller, cuter clothes. 
Seems pretty shallow when you consider the health and wellness of a little one.


So now my goal is to focus on eating healthy, nutritious treats like edamame guacamole (which is so good, you guys), while also enjoying a little chocolate drizzled bundt cake. 


It's all about balance, right? I mean, I'm doing it for the baby.

6 comments:

  1. Good for you, girl!
    None of us is perfect, and I think it's pretty safe to say all of us moms feel that mommy guilt from time to time.
    I say enjoy that delicious chocolate bundt cake!
    Y.O.L.O.

    =)
    xo

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  2. I'm so glad everyone is enjoying a little more food! :)

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  3. balance is the hardest thing for me as a working wife & mom. You totally made the right choice, so selfless, but not always easy.

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  4. Ivan is blessed to have you for her mama!

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  5. it is so hard, I totally get it :( it's just not the right time right now, but soon it will be, just hang in there for a bit longer :)

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  6. You are beautiful, Carina! (and such a good mama! :-))

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