giving up the fight. kind of.

I really like cooking. I also like trying to provide really healthy, well-rounded meals and snacks for my family. News flash: my house is filled with testosterone and they are over the quinoa. I have noticed I get far more compliments on the nights I cover things in cheese and gravy. And I mean, who am I kidding? I love pizza. I also love all things fried. And chocolate. Oh, and butter - isn't butter so so so so good? But I've got this little problem with self control. Like if I know that my really cute cookie jar from Anthropologie (I love it, okay?) is filled with something delicious, then I am going to think about whatever it is all day long until it's gone. It a sickness, folks. So I protect myself (and my muffin top) by limiting how many baked goods and delicious buttery casseroles enter the house.


But what's fair is fair. I live with a lot of dudes, and they like meat and potatoes and bread and noodles and butter and grease. So, it's compromise time. I figure if I serve vegetable laden, lean meat dishes most nights of the week, then a night or two of down home old school cookin' isn't going to hurt us too terribly. 


So a few weeks back I kicked it off with a full blown country meal. I have never seen plates cleaned so quickly. And then refilled. And then cleaned again. I also happened to invite my dad and grandpa over because the ladies were out of town and they actually went home, called their wives, and told them about the meal. Why do I not get this response with stir fry?

 photo courtesy of The Pioneer Woman

On the menu? PW's chicken fried steak, biscuits, gravy (gave me an excuse to use my really cute gravy boat - I have issues with kitchenware) and a squash casserole, followed by homemade cherry pie. Do you feel a little chubbier just reading that? I do. But it was so dang good, and those really are the most fun meals to plan. And it's a great motivator to get myself moving and burn off the butter, you know? It kind of makes me mad that my skinny husband and constantly moving children don't have to consider these things, but whaddya gonna do?


So what's your favorite old school supper? I am compiling a list for our Sunday dinners. And if you're around, come on over!

mama's time out

It's 4 o'clock. My husband calls to tell me he is working late and won't be home for dinner or putting the kids to bed. Sigh.


I look in the fridge and we're out of milk. Being that my littlest two use milk to settle in before bed, I know this means a trip to the store with all three rascals. Catching a glimpse of myself I grab a hat to hide the hair that hasn't seen a brush since the 6am wake up call. At least it's a cute hat, and I am not wearing sweats, but actual jeans, so maybe nobody will notice the lack of attention to self today.


I wrangle the kids, drive to the store, whip out the double stroller and head in. Milk and bread, check. I decide to swing through the wine section - this mama deserves a glass tonight. It's been a day. It's been a time out-brother brawling-sweep 14 times-3 cups of coffee-I don't wanna eat that-he hit me-I'm not gonna take a nap-every toy on the floor-mama's gonna lose it kind of day. And now I need a time out.


I grab a bottle of Mad Housewife Cabernet. That seems appropriate for this ridiculous day, I think to myself. Just so the checker won't judge me on my purchases, I also swing through the produce aisle for some apples. It's all about balance.


Back home it's peanut butter and jelly, apple slices and a cucumber for dinner. I don't have it in me to cook and even if I did, I would have three munchkins clinging to my legs in desperate need of anything they could think of before pushing one or both of their brothers to the floor.


I make it through. Tonight I am thankful my children can't tell time - the babies are in bed earlier than normal, but sound asleep. The oldest, my 4 year old, is brushing his teeth and not even fighting crawling under the covers for story time. Kisses, prayers, goodnight. 


Deep breath, quiet, relief. It's been a long day.
I wade through matchbox cars and bouncy balls, I ignore the dishes piled in the sink, and the unwanted dinner that's been thrown on the floor. I walk toward that lovely bottle waiting for me in the midst of crayons and trucks and books scattered all about.

Yeah, tonight is a Mad Housewife kind of night. I pour a glass, close my eyes and breathe. The dishes can wait.


(This was written for the Mad Housewife contest over at GirliChef.)

today is my day

There is this amazing network of lady bloggers out there that I am pretty excited about. If you're a girl with a blog you should probably check out SITS (The Secret to Success is Support). There are over 8,000 bloggers in the network. and today they are featuring MY blog! I am honored and pretty darn thrilled about it. Thanks for stopping by, girls... Hope you'll stick around awhile!

If this is your first time here, welcome! If you come here on a regular basis, thanks and I love you. I have really come to love blogging - as an outlet for the craziness that is our day-to-day, for reflecting on and expressing gratitude for the many blessings in our lives, and for just having fun. You'll find a lot of stories about my boys, past adventures, funny and not-so-funny outings, my love of coffee and hopefully, more than anything, my thankfulness for what we've been given.

a little picture of daily livin' around here

I thought that since, for some, this is quick "get to know you", I'd take inspiration from the literary giants over at US Weekly. Don't judge me, I do hair, it's pretty much my job to read it. Each week they pick a celeb to share 25 little known facts about themselves, so I'll just take the liberty of making that me for the day. 


1. I want to devote myself to learning how to bake really good bread, but I fear what it will do to my backside.
2. I love all things Bravo.
3. If I could buy all my clothes from one store, it would be Anthropologie. I get pretty much all my clothes from Target. 
4. Know it alls irk me.
5. I am a total know it all.
6. I eat chocolate every single day and don't really see a need not to.
7. I have been within arm's reach of Steven Spielberg, Punky Brewster, Michael Jackson, Rue McClanahan, Alec Baldwin and PW. But not all at the same time. (That would be an interesting party, though.)
8.  I care way too much about Brad and Emily.
9. I never spend more than $8.99 on a bottle of wine (usually less) and I think I drink some pretty good wine.
10. I became Catholic 6 years ago and I really, really love it. 
11. I often dream it's finals week and I realize that I never dropped Calculus and now I have to ace the final to pass the class. It's been over ten years since college - will it ever end?
12. Pretty sure I could live off of sushi.
13. I've lost 13 pounds this year!
14. We aren't done with babies. Just not sure when the next one will be.
15. I try to look for the positive in every situation, but I don't always succeed. 
16. One of my all time favorite books is The Secret Garden.
17. I just signed up for Hulu Plus and I think that might be the epitome of time suckage.
18. If it weren't for family and cost of living, I think we'd live in NYC or San Diego. 
19. By 6pm on any given day, I look like a pretty strong candidate for What Not to Wear.
20. I have found the perfect chocolate cake recipe and use it way too often.
21. I don't think I could live without my cast iron skillet. 
22. I want to write a book someday.
23. I'm not sure I could beat my 4 year old at tic tac toe even if I tried.
24. I am an aspiring photographer, painter, gardener and interior decorator. You wouldn't know this by anything I've actually produced.  (see #17)
25. I love, love, love my family. (Okay, so that's pretty well known, but had to slip it in.)


Thanks again for stopping by! Check out my "about me" for some of my favorite posts and to catch up on more of who we are. Hope you enjoy!


Peace to all of you!

the marl

About one month into being married I made it very clear that I wanted a dog. Nick, being nearly the opposite of an animal person, protested. One of the first of many lessons he would learn regarding my personality: I can be pretty persistent. I had a dog all of my childhood. Not one dog, but at least seven that I can remember. Never more than two at a time, but always at least one faithful companion to drive my parents crazy. 


So naturally once I was "settled", I knew a dog is exactly what we needed to complete our new little family.  It took about six weeks for me to convince Nick to even consider starting a dog search. I looked on Petfinder every day, since I knew that if we were to get a dog, it would be a rescue. Also, knowing my husband, I had to find the saddest case possible to really seal the deal. 


And there he was. Marley, so named by the shelter because he had been discovered with such a serious case of matted fur, he had doggie dreads. Believed to have never had an actual home, but rather spending his years aimlessly wandering junkyards and alleyways, I knew I'd met my match. Nick agreed to "go look". I knew he was toast.


We arrived at his foster home and the woman caring for him said he was a quiet dog, not afraid of people or other animals, but not really interested in them either. He preferred garbage to food and seemed to have really been through the ringer. I was sold instantly, Nick took all of five minutes. He was the cutest, mellowest dog you'd ever seen.


We signed the papers and loaded him into the back of our little Corolla. He slept the whole way back to our apartment, and upon arrival immediately made his home on our futon. 
And that is basically where he spent the next two years. 

He liked going for walks, but not for more than twenty minutes. When we were home, he wanted to nap. He loved eggs and burgers and rice and hated the car. In fact, he hated it so much, that 25 minutes into our 1100 mile road trip to California, we had to pull over for some benadryl. (Did you know you can give that to dogs? It's true.) He loved baths but ran around like a lunatic to dry himself on our carpet as soon as they were over. We often came home to discover that Marley had somehow opened the cupboard and feasted on almost an entire container of garbage.  


Marley did what he wanted to do and never did what he didn't want to do. And he was the best dog in the whole wide world. 


We discovered about three weeks after Lute was born that Marley had an invasive tumor in his mouth and wouldn't make it through the summer. He lasted about two more weeks and we knew it was time to make the decision that no pet owner ever wants to make. It was one of the most heartbreaking experiences we have ever had and it made me never want another dog for as long as I live. I remember hugging him and crying almost the whole night before his appointment, and telling him how much I loved him before Nick took him away. 


And Marley and Me? Well, if that wasn't one of the worst movie choices I've ever made, I don't know. 


And now Lute wants a dog. He isn't adamant yet, but I know it will come in time. My heart has healed and I can definitely see a future with another dog running around and smelling up the joint. But there will never be another Marl. Oh man, I loved that dog.


It's gonna be awhile, though, I can tell you that. Who needs a dog when you have three little monkeys anyway?

the boy

Sometimes I make dumb decisions. Like today when I got all nostalgic and started watching old videos of Lute when he was just learning to walk and talk. What is it about a kid getting another year older that turns on the water works for the mamas? Or maybe it's just me.

Lute is four. FOUR. I feel like it was yesterday that I was trying to convince Nick that no, I really do need to go to the hospital, because yes, I am actually in labor RIGHT THIS MINUTE. He wanted to go to a movie to pass the time because didn't I know labor took awhile? He also started snacking on granola like two minutes after we arrived at the hospital, before I even made it into my room so that he could maintain his strength. I may or may not have been supportive of his decision. Lute arrived in record time (absolutely NO time for a movie) and has been a delight ever since. Okay, okay, so maybe he has caused some frustration from time to time, but overall, he is pretty much perfect.

Venture down memory lane with me, won't you?

one

two

three

four

I don't know what I would do without this kid. He is loving, compassionate, gentle, kind, and absolutely hilarious. From pregnancy, to birth, to (almost) every moment since, he has been easy and a gift. Sometimes I think about these moments with him (with all of them, really), wanting to treasure every memory, to stick them in my pocket and hold onto them forever. I pray that God gives my mind and heart the capacity to capture and keep all of the blessings close always.

I mean, how could you not love this face?

Oh and just so you know, 4 is cool, but he "cannot wait to be 32."

i heart new york

I have been lucky enough to take several trips to New York in the last ten years. Living in DC after college, it was easy to take a quick weekend trip every once in awhile. When I got engaged, my future mother in law was nice enough to invite me along on a girls weekend with her and her daughters. Two years ago my girlfriends and I ditched the guys and spent a weekend in the city before Christmas and it was all you could hope. To say I love New York is an understatement -  maybe it's because I watch way too many movies and too much tv and pretty much everything takes place there. Maybe it's because it's awesome. 

So when I told my husband (who doesn't like to travel) that I think about going to New York on almost a weekly basis, I thought he'd look at me with that face that says, "That's nice, hon, keep dreamin'." But do you know what he actually said?

"We could go for the Big East tournament." (for those of you who do not know someone completely sports obsessed, that's when all the schools in Big East conference play for a place in the national basketball tournament, a.k.a. March Madness. My husband a. is sports obsessed and b. went to a BIg East school.)

Right after I lifted my jaw off the floor and before he could object, I booked a flight, a hotel, and babysitters (thanks, Mom!). 

We spent four days eating in restaurants that didn't have to be kid-friendly, walking hand in hand, visiting the Statue of Liberty, shopping in Greenwich, sleeping in, eating pastries, strolling through Central Park, inspired at the Museum of Modern Art, watching basketball, visiting Ground Zero, taking in the city from the Top of the Rock, attending mass at St. Patrick's - and so much more. It was magical, it was fantastic, and the best part? Nick wants to do it every year. I can sit through 40 basketball games if it gets my husband on a plane.

New York, I miss you already, but I think we'll be back.

super thankful

There are always things in our lives that we aren't thankful for. But then, at the same time, there are usually about fourteen million other things that we should be grateful for. Like right now, I am not that thankful that my kids are coughing, sneezy freaks who won't sleep. But, I do have a lot to be joyful about, so let's talk about that. 

Nick and I got to go to New York this last week for four whole days alone. I think there were about seventeen instances in the first 24 hours where we would sit silently, look at each other, and say, "I can't believe we are doing this." Sometimes we'd switch it up and say, "Can you believe we're alone?" We may have been surrounded by eight million other people, but we were definitely alone.  And it was awesome.

I am thankful for my mom and sister who stayed at our house with Lute and George. Not only did they manage all the daily duties (and dooties) (sorry) around here, but they also took care of my sweet boy who got sick the night we left, had to have his very first chest xray, and then started a round of antibiotics to kick his borderline pneumonia. It was hard to be away from him, but Grandma and Auntie stepped in to save the day. (And to clean up the vomit, which I was extra thankful to be 3,000 miles away from.)


Grateful for my in-laws who took Eddie to their house for three days of fun-filled entertainment. The kid was in heaven with undivided attention and new spaces to explore.


Deliciously appreciative of the cherry cheese strudel from the bakery down the street from our hotel. And the pizza, donuts, risotto, lobster sliders and sangria that were consumed during our travels. And the miles and miles we walked everyday that made all the calories consumed disappear (that happened, right?).


Thankful that we made our plane, even though they didn't want to check our bags because we arrived two minutes after the cutoff to check in because someone was silly enough to book a flight home that meant catching the train in the middle of rush hour (that's me). Online check in saved us and I'm grateful.


And even though my kids are sick and whiny and sniffly and sleep deprived, I am so so so thankful to be back in the snuggle zone. I missed those peanuts. 


(But I am also really, really glad that my non-traveling husband told me that he wants to do something like this every year, because let's face it, we all need a break now and then. Grandparents, prepare yourselves.)

two pink lines

It's been awhile since I've posted about the adoption and how it all went down. It was my intent to get the whole thing on here in a timely manner, but alas, that is just not my style.  I am learning to accept it (I am pretty convinced there is no cure for procrastination, maybe I should give up the dream). 


_____


Once all of our paperwork was in, our lifebook and letter approved, and everything on our end was mailed in, we would officially be in the pool of waiting families. We got the stamp of approval while we were on a last minute trip to London and I couldn't wait to get back and ship off our box of lifebooks to the agency, who would then distribute them to birthmothers looking for a good match for their baby. And that is exactly what I did.


After recovering from some serious jet lag and readjusting our nearly two year old to a normal sleep schedule (anyone for a 3am viewing of Sesame Street?), I spent an afternoon at Staples making copies of all of the colorful pages we'd put together, assembled them, boxed them and sent them off. I got the call the following Monday that we were set to go and our lifebooks were on their way to case workers throughout the state. That was March 9, 2009.


That Wednesday morning, March 11, I woke up to Lute singing in his crib, playing contentedly alone with his stuffed animals. I looked dreamily out the window at the unusually sunny day and thought about our plans that evening - a sushi night catching up with old friends. Good thing I'm not pregnant, I thought.


Wait a minute. I looked at the calendar on my phone and started counting days. Then I counted again. I remembered I had one pregnancy test left in the back of the linen closet. There is no way, I thought. We'd been trying for a year and had figured it just wasn't the right time. 


And two minutes later... two pink lines.
My palms got clammy, perspiration covered the back of my neck. I shakily dialed Nick's work number. 


"Hey, hon," he answered.
"Um, hey. Hey. I, uh, well, I need to tell you something, but it's so dumb to tell you on the phone, but I, uh, well..."
"Are you pregnant?" I could hear him smiling, incredulous. 
"Well... yeah." I said, my face getting hot. I was excited and shocked and basically had four million questions running through my brain.
"Wow, I can't believe it... That is awesome." 
"Yeah, it is. I mean, we can't do sushi tonight, obviously. Should I tell them I have the flu? And well, we just got on the adoption list. And I can't believe I am telling you this over the phone. I should probably get Lute up..."
He laughed. "Honey, this is great. Don't worry, we'll figure it all out."


And we had to because everyone we would tell would have the same questions. Would we still adopt or put it on hold or forget it all together? Would the agency even still consider us with a baby on the way? Would a birthmother want us to be her baby's parents or would she worry that our focus would be elsewhere? Could we manage two babies at the same time? 


I didn't know. I knew I still wanted to adopt, yes. For sure, without a doubt, no question. But when and how and could we?


Well, we would soon find out.