03 October 2011

grace to change

I mentioned awhile back that going to church can be a little hard for us. Okay, so I used the word "dread". Mostly (totally) because my smallest two have absolutely no understanding of quiet. They climb, crawl, yell (they love the echo), and talk to their hearts content. Meanwhile we hush, wrangle, sweat, plead and pray. 
Someday we will miss all this, I'm sure. Today is not that day.
But every once in awhile, like last week,  we opt for going to church separately and leaving the littlest two behind. 
I went to evening mass all alone. I could sit in the front, follow along with the music,
pray on my knees in quiet, and absorb the teaching.
It was bliss.
And it was a message I needed to hear.

I've heard, read, and thought over these verses so many times. And I am pretty sure I have always related them to my community, the world, and to Christians as a whole.
But not to my family.
Not to my marriage.
There is a reason it hit me so deeply and gave me such a desire and awareness that I needed to change my attitude in the everyday moments with my children and especially with my husband: because that is who my husband already is.
He serves in a million ways every day that make this verse a reality in my life.
He lets me sleep, takes over with the boys the moment he walks in the door, changes them in the middle of the night, fits his works schedule around things I have going on in my life, does the dishes, takes out the trash, paints the fence, and... you get what I am saying.
I am a lucky girl. I am blessed.
And frankly, I am pretty selfish. 
But God used that blissful solitary night at church to stir something in my heart. To give selflessly to my husband - not just to return the favor - but because I am called to do it. 
With joy.
To agree with him, love him, work together with one mind and purpose, to be humble, to look out for his interests, to have the attitude of Jesus.
These are high aspirations for me, for sure. I am gonna need some help,
but I know with a little (a lot) of grace, it's possible.

10 comments:

  1. Oh wow. You had a big moment. Thank you for sharing so openly.

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  2. PRAISE JESUS.
    this has been fresh on my heart, too. so thankful you shared. love you!!

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  3. Mass is very stressful for us as well. We try to take lots of things to entertain our 3 year old, but then it just takes away from us being able to worship. I need to try going alone occasionally. I know one day, like you said, this will all be behind us. :)

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  4. Moments of quite to worship and listen are priceless. Sounds like Jesus spoke to you clearly and beautifully. Thanks for encouraging us with what you are learning!

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  5. A great goal to have, and an important decision to make. Thank you for sharing this with all of us!

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  6. wow what a great post! thank you for sharing :) xoxo

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  7. thanks for sharing! i am so glad God blessed with a moment alone with HIM in church to strengthen you for the times in ahead when you have the whole gang with you again! :)

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  8. It sounds as if you you were meant to be there at the evening service just to receive this message. And what a beautiful message! Your description of your husband reminds me of mine... we are truly so blessed!

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  9. What a sweet post and lovely family friendly site. I stumbled upon this when I was looking for other family friendly blogs. I also post ideas and information at: http://forevertogetherfamily.blogspot.com/.

    Thank you for sharing all that you do and filing the space online with good vibes. Take care.

    Emily

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