18 May 2011

unsolicited marital advice because i love ya.

My sister texted me today (because I don't talk on the phone) and asked if I had any advice for newlyweds. Her friend is compiling a list and since I let advice flow freely, wanted or not, Stacy asked me. I told her I'd think about it and get back to her. I love questions like these.


I thought about the things that have worked for us, but mostly I thought about the advice I would have given myself before getting married. And actually, the advice I should really be giving myself on a daily basis. Because in the 6 years, 1 month, 1 week, 2 days and 4 hours that I have been married, I have yet to fully put into action the following five things that would make any marriage work. So as much for you, dear reader, as for myself, I share with you my limited marital wisdom.




1. Don't start any conversation with anything that may even be perceived as a criticism. Genuine compliments go a long way.


2. Always try to respond with "yes", rather than immediately saying (or thinking) "no".


3. Find at least one thing to say "thank you" for everyday. 


4. Praying together on a daily basis makes all the difference in the world. 


5. Pick up your crap.


(Please don't tell my husband about this list. I'm still working on it.)


Many years of wedded bliss to you all!

5 comments:

  1. Number 5 is the best piece of advice. May have my husband come read this....haha jk.

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  2. I might make a sign with #5 on it ;)

    Of course I'd make one to hang right next to it that says "Thank you." Cause, you know, I guess #3 is important too. :D

    Nice post! Saw you on SITS and just wanted to pop in and check our your blog.

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  3. This is going to sound bad, but I've always been nervous about praying with another person. It just always made me feel uncomfortable when I was living on campus my freshman year of college and I attended this Bible study group every week that wanted to get around in circles and hold hands and take turns praying. I'm more of a private and reserved person. I understand the concept of praying in groups makes the prayer stronger, but I feel more comfortable praying alone.

    Maybe I'll feel different about it when I meet that man I'm meant to marry.

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  4. This is going to sound bad, but I've always been nervous about praying with another person. It just always made me feel uncomfortable when I was living on campus my freshman year of college and I attended this Bible study group every week that wanted to get around in circles and hold hands and take turns praying. I'm more of a private and reserved person. I understand the concept of praying in groups makes the prayer stronger, but I feel more comfortable praying alone.

    Maybe I'll feel different about it when I meet that man I'm meant to marry.

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  5. @Kelsey - Just make sure you compliment him first ;)

    @clutteraholic - Yes! Kill them with kindness and they will just *want* to pick stuff up. right?

    @alice - I was/am the same way. But it really is different with your spouse. And sometimes we don't know what to pray and we have a memorized prayer we recite together that centers us and unites us as we go to bed at night.

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