eddie

Eddie boy. The Edster. Easy E. Little dude. Pumpkin.

This month has been a big one for Eddie. Two teeth and crawling like a champ. My life has changed a lot in the last couple of days. I have pulled tape, streamers and lint out of his mouth. The funny thing is I sweep twice a day, but that kid has a knack for finding stuff. Combined with the fact that George will no longer stand a swaddle, but can't settle himself quite yet and Lute is in constant negotiations for more TV time - it's been a busy week in mamaland. Sometimes I just laugh out loud and I am pretty sure they all think I am going crazy.

But in it all my heart sometimes feels like it might burst with gratitude for my three little gifts. When we were preparing to adopt a baby, and in the weeks following bringing Eddie home, there were so many questions and concerns we had about how to make him feel "normal". Would we connect in the same way that we did with Lute? Would he feel like the odd kid out growing up? We tried to theorize what life with an adopted kid should be like.

I have hesitated sharing what the "after" has been like, not really sure how to put our experience into words. But the truth is, it all feels so natural. Yes, I feel differently about Eddie than I do Lute. I feel differently about Lute than I do George. No one could have really made me understand - but parents with more than one kid probably know what I am saying. You love all of your kids equally, but it really is different. My affinity for Eddie is infinite. 

And yet not a day goes by that I don't think about his birthmother. Does she think about him everyday? Does she wait for updates? Does she wonder what milestones he has hit? It makes my heart ache with empathy. Knowing the connection one has with their baby, I can't imagine what it must be like for her. Would she rather know or not know all of the things that he is experiencing? I don't know if it will always be like that, wondering everyday about her, but right now I do.

People have such different reactions when they hear that we've adopted. We have to tell the story to almost everyone as we watch them try to do the math in their heads over the spacing of the boys. ("Now how did that happen...?") Some might tell us he is lucky to have us. Most tell us we have our hands full (hello, Captain Obvious.). Here is the deal: we are absolutely beyond words changed and blessed and forever in debt for the amazing gift that he is in our lives.  I don't think he's lucky, I think we are. 

So all of our theorizing is just that. Who knows what normal is anyway? He's my kid and I love him. I can't imagine one second of my life without him in it. I love going in to get him from his nap and seeing that ecstatic grin on his face. I love his exuberance in his Jumperoo and watching him try to stuff 18 cheerios in his mouth at once.  He is ours now and forever, and we couldn't be happier.

a weekend away and a birthday boy

This last weekend kicked off wedding season. A wedding I did last fall was featured in a magazine which led to a massive amount of requests for this summer. It's awesome and dizzying all at the same time. Anyway, this was a fun one because it was in the San Juans and my parents were kind enough to watch Eddie and Lute so that Nick (and George) and I could make a weekend of it.

Despite weeks of sick kids, we made it out the door. Not before we passed the bug along lovingly to our kind babysitter, though. Even though she'd spent the night before sick beyond words, my wonderful mother still showed up with enthusiasm (and treats). Nick and I barely looked back as we loaded up the car and peeled out of the driveway on the long drive up to Anacortes. Don't get me wrong, I missed the punk and the pumpkin, but every mama needs a break - especially from runny noses and spontaneous barfing. 

We had hours in the car to enjoy conversation free of toddler tunes. We had a two hour ferry ride to Friday Harbor with gorgeous views and more good conversation. Even George liked it.

boats are cool.

We got into Friday Harbor and drove the windy streets through idyllic green hills with grazing deer to Roche Harbor, wedding locale. We checked into our suite (which was sweet) and took in the view. Then I demanded we get right back in the car and find dinner (don't mess with me and low blood sugar).  We didn't have the best dinner (and by that I mean it was grody), but the beer was good. Same can be said for the second night there. What's up with that, Friday Harbor? 

Anyway, we were absolutely taken with the sights and will be back. Take a looksie for yourself:

The next night we headed back so we could be there when Lute woke up on his THIRD birthday. I don't want to be the cliche mama that gets all weepy and asks, "Where does the time go?" But seriously, where does it go?

He woke up the next morning and announced he was now three and when was the party, anyway? 

Streamers were hung, balloons blown up, pin-the-hat-on-the-fire-dog poster put on the wall, donut cake assembled, pizza ordered, fruit and carrot sticks in place, and the house semi-organized - and all during nap time (procrastination works, people).

lute's greatest dream realized

i ate pizza and donut cake in the same day.

Friends and family arrived, fun was had, and we all went to bed thankful and exhausted.

In the midst of it all, there wasn't much time for reflection. But tonight, before he went to bed, Lute snuggled up to me in the rocking chair and we read "Goodnight Moon", read countless times before. When we were done he asked me to rock him and sing to him, and to be honest, it was hard not to get weepy. His legs hung over the side of the chair and he sang almost every word to "Amazing Grace" right along with me. 

So really, where does the time go? 

a tribute or two

This has been a bittersweet week. I am so excited to (officially) welcome my new brother to the family - Brian proposed to my sister Stacy last Friday! Nobody could be more excited about it. Brian and Stacy met it high school almost ten years ago. They dated and Brian really became part of the family. A year or two after that, they decided to part ways and everyone in both families was kind of disappointed. But you gotta let people make their own choices, right? Well, I mean, I try, but some might say I am vocal about my opinions. Over the next five years, Stacy and Brian's paths would cross on occasion and every time something sparked in both of them. But one would be dating someone else, or they both would, and they would agree it just wasn't the right time. Every time this happened, I would very subtly (ha ha) encourage Stacy to dump whoever she was dating (sorry, dudes) and RUN back to Brian ("He's my lobster" she always told me. I mean HELLO.).

Well, it only took five years. They (finally) got back together late last fall, and immediately both of them knew it was a forever deal. And thank you God, because he is in our wedding pictures. I can finally display them in the living room. This isn't about me though, so with that, I just want to say YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEE! I could not be any more enthusiastic about their reunion and now their engagement! Welcome, Brian, it's about freakin' time.

But in all seriousness, Nick and I (and now the boys) have a very dear place in our hearts for Brian, and by extension, his entire family. Sadly, Brian lost his dad, Mike, last week very unexpectedly. So, in the midst of the joy, their is pain. But there is also peace. Mike was an amazing man who lived life to the fullest. Every encounter we had with him was full of joy and laughter. Laughter so booming loud it kinda freaked Lute out, and that is absolutely one of my favorite memories of him. He and his wife, Judy, are dear friends to my parents. His daughters, Julie and Cindy, who are now (officially) my sisters, are such loving and giving women, with awesome husbands and some really cute kids. They truly are an amazing family. I am thankful for the place that they have had in our lives, and I know that Mike's spirit and legacy will continue to bring joy into our families lives for years to come. You can read more about Mike here and you can get the details on the proposal here (Mike was a part of that, too).

We love you, Stacy and Brian. And we love you, Buchanans. Always in our prayers, and definitely in our hearts.

mama madness

Today I met two friends for coffee at the mall. We decided on this particular spot, envisioning a time to serenely sit and chat while sipping lattes and watching our boys play together in the "kid zone". There were five boys between us (and that wasn't all of our kids, some got left behind with dadas), two newborns and three very active toddlers. 

Apparently everyone in town had the same idea. When we exited the elevator, we saw at least 60 other children and their parents making the most of their morning at the mall. Rather than peacefully enjoying our coffee and catching up on life, we tagged each other out of the play zone to take turns watching the babies, strollers and belongings. 

I watched mothers and fathers standing idly by watching their kids, others comforting little ones who were jumped on or fallen on by bigger kids (Lute got drop kicked), and frantic young moms running after toddlers making a b-line for the exit or the stairs (seriously, Bellevue, stairs adjacent to a toddler mecca?) or the nearby offices, all while clutching their newborns. Baby Bjorns, pregnant bellies and double strollers abounded. It was a place of kindred spirits, women who could look at each other with knowing eyes and take comfort in shared experience. Except for the fact that none of us could take our eyes off of our energetic young rabble rousers as they jumped off of toy ships and tried to "borrow" cars and sippy cups from kids they've never met.

But in the end, while our coffee date didn't look the way we thought it might, we still managed good quality conversation,  a walk around the mall, and burning off the energy of three sweet little boys. That's the way it goes with these little dudes - things rarely turn out as expected, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.